We need to talk. We really need to talk. But it won’t be easy. I’m planning the whole story. The whole scenario, everything I want to say is clearly in my head. And you’ll listen. I know you will, because that’s who you are. Always friendly and kind, not wanting to hurt me. And I’ll tell you that it doesn’t work. That even with you being kind, it hurts like hell. That I’m not stupid. That I can see the look in your eyes, every time you talk to me. The look that tells me you’re only talking to me because you think not talking to me at all would tear me down. You don’t want to be my friend, but you don’t want to be the reason I’m sad either. Well, let me tell you, it hurts even more, seeing that look in your eyes, than it would if you would just completely ignore me. Because now, every time we talk, I always remember how we used to be. How we used to laugh and cry and be crazy together. How we used to call, just to hear each other’s voice. How we’re not anymore. I can’t let it go, because you’re still acting nice and every time, it gives me a little hope. Hope that disappears just as quickly as it came. So, after I told you everything that’s on my mind, I’ll tell you that I want you to make a decision. Or even better, I’ll make the decision for you. I won’t talk to you anymore, so you won’t have to answer. I’ll ignore you, act like you’re a complete stranger, when I walk in to you. That I will not be in your life anymore, so that it will be easier for you. You won’t have to pretend anymore. Starting right then.
But even now I repeated the whole scenario a thousand times, I know it still won’t be any easier. Because how the hell do you look at someone you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?
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